I'm starting to blog because I'm starting a new journey. Just read and find out ;)
Wednesday, February 8, 2012, I went on a date with my husband. (Chinese food and a chick-flick.. because he knows they're my favorite!) He was off that day, and decided to put some hours in at Camp Robinson's airfield, and randomly in the day said, "Don't eat too much for lunch, we are going out tonight." It was weird, because usually we plan dates way ahead of time or at a last minute's notice. But, nonetheless, I was excited. When we got home from our nice little date, we got ready for bed and started having our nightly "pillow talk." He had a very uneasy tone in his voice, and I was scared to ask why. He finally spilled the beans on his own. The words I've been dreading for about a year now... "I'm going to be deployed."
Most wives in this world will never have to hear those words or even have to think about hearing that phrase. Most wives won't ever have to say "he's only been gone two months." Most wives won't even ever have to worry about living alone. But, we military wives live daily wondering if those dreaded words will leave our beloved's mouth changing our lives for multiple years.
I didn't know how to react when Cameron told me. I've never liked people seeing me cry. I feel so weak and helpless when I do. But, I did tear up... and when Cam was snoozing, I started the sobs. The next day, my father-in-law shared some words of wisdom: "You're not expected to react/feel any certain way. A lot of people will try to make you feel better by reminding you 'God is sovereign and in control' but you are allowed to grieve and be sad. After all, it is an unwanted separation from who God has chosen for you. I am confident that you will be supportive when it is time to be. And, there will be many who will be your support as well. But, right now you have to process and wrap your head around the whole thing. There is a huge difference between possibility and reality." It's true. Nobody can expect me to feel a certain way about this new chapter on my life. If I'm hurting, or angry, or down in the dumps, or even having a great day and I'm happy... Nobody can expect me to be any different.
My husband, SPC Molden, has orders of deploying in 2013 (As of right now. You never know what the army might change next.). This will be our first deployment, and I honestly have no idea what's going to happen along this winding road. What I do know is that we will make it, we both have the loving support of our friends and family, and that it's going to be hard. Hard on our emotions, hard on our marriage, and hard work.
Even though it's a whole year away, we have to start preparing. He's so good to me, and always gets every bill paid by the beginning of each month. He makes the grocery lists. He manages our finances. And, he just tells me what I need to do. This next year, I have to learn everything he does. We have to decide where is best for me to live while he is away. We have to decide how I can keep safe while living alone. We have to prepare our hearts, minds, and emotions for deployment 2013.
I was told by a fellow army wife that blogging is one of the best ways she copes with deployment. So here I am. Blogging my heart out. Facebook and twitter is not going to be an emotional wreck page for me. If I have an emotional break down, you won't know unless you first read about why... right here on this blog.
So, if you want to have a look on everything about the army life, you'll find it here!
Thanks for reading!!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012, I went on a date with my husband. (Chinese food and a chick-flick.. because he knows they're my favorite!) He was off that day, and decided to put some hours in at Camp Robinson's airfield, and randomly in the day said, "Don't eat too much for lunch, we are going out tonight." It was weird, because usually we plan dates way ahead of time or at a last minute's notice. But, nonetheless, I was excited. When we got home from our nice little date, we got ready for bed and started having our nightly "pillow talk." He had a very uneasy tone in his voice, and I was scared to ask why. He finally spilled the beans on his own. The words I've been dreading for about a year now... "I'm going to be deployed."
Most wives in this world will never have to hear those words or even have to think about hearing that phrase. Most wives won't ever have to say "he's only been gone two months." Most wives won't even ever have to worry about living alone. But, we military wives live daily wondering if those dreaded words will leave our beloved's mouth changing our lives for multiple years.
I didn't know how to react when Cameron told me. I've never liked people seeing me cry. I feel so weak and helpless when I do. But, I did tear up... and when Cam was snoozing, I started the sobs. The next day, my father-in-law shared some words of wisdom: "You're not expected to react/feel any certain way. A lot of people will try to make you feel better by reminding you 'God is sovereign and in control' but you are allowed to grieve and be sad. After all, it is an unwanted separation from who God has chosen for you. I am confident that you will be supportive when it is time to be. And, there will be many who will be your support as well. But, right now you have to process and wrap your head around the whole thing. There is a huge difference between possibility and reality." It's true. Nobody can expect me to feel a certain way about this new chapter on my life. If I'm hurting, or angry, or down in the dumps, or even having a great day and I'm happy... Nobody can expect me to be any different.
My husband, SPC Molden, has orders of deploying in 2013 (As of right now. You never know what the army might change next.). This will be our first deployment, and I honestly have no idea what's going to happen along this winding road. What I do know is that we will make it, we both have the loving support of our friends and family, and that it's going to be hard. Hard on our emotions, hard on our marriage, and hard work.
Even though it's a whole year away, we have to start preparing. He's so good to me, and always gets every bill paid by the beginning of each month. He makes the grocery lists. He manages our finances. And, he just tells me what I need to do. This next year, I have to learn everything he does. We have to decide where is best for me to live while he is away. We have to decide how I can keep safe while living alone. We have to prepare our hearts, minds, and emotions for deployment 2013.
I was told by a fellow army wife that blogging is one of the best ways she copes with deployment. So here I am. Blogging my heart out. Facebook and twitter is not going to be an emotional wreck page for me. If I have an emotional break down, you won't know unless you first read about why... right here on this blog.
So, if you want to have a look on everything about the army life, you'll find it here!
Thanks for reading!!
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