Step by step; day by day.
I haven't had much time to actually do anything different this past week. I got a promotion at work, so I've just been moving cubes spaces... My new cube is mighty fine, by the way. (See the below photo) It's not very homie quite yet due to the fact that my previous cube was half the size, but I will fix that in a few weeks!
That window is my favorite! At least until it gets real sunny and whatnot. I plan on whippin' out the aviators at that point.
Okay. Back to the subject of this whole blog.
Cam and I are actually now looking in to the opportunity of buying a small house. If you don't know us too well, you now know that our plans change on a weekly basis. Every week. I promise. Nothing will be the same for too long! But, right now, buying a little two bedroom house actually is a possibility.
So, there is this huge change coming up. You know, the whole deployment thing, and I am just now realizing that I despise change. How did I realize that? Well, ever since I was a little ten-year-old girl picking prizes out of the Sunday School prize box, my favorite LifeSaver flavor has been Pina Colada. Always. Yesterday, I got a big bag of LifeSaver's, and my first action was to find the few Pina Colada flavored rings and eat them. Honestly, I wasn't too happy with it. In fact, I ate a few different flavors to determine if it was my taste buds being weird or if it just wasn't the same. Although I hate to admit it, Pina Colada is no longer my favorite flavor of LifeSaver.
No, that wasn't random... I promise. Did you notice how I said, "I hate to admit it... etc." Yeah. That was no misprint. I did NOT want to accept the fact that my favorite flavor of hard candy had changed. In fact, I just kept eating those suckers like they were still my favorite. Seeing how hard it was for me to make my favorite flavor change, you can imagine how difficult it will be for me to go from falling asleep in my husband's arms every night to falling asleep with a big drooling dog (Jack) beside me.
I am actually still in the process of wrapping my head around this whole 'issue.' I honestly, try to keep it out of my head for the most part. So, with that being said, this is it for this weeks update. =)
Short and to the point.
Oh, and if you do happen to come across my path and you decide to inquire about this situation, please refrain from using the following phrases:
"That's not too bad!"
"Well, it's for the best."
"That's it?"
"At least he's not going to Iraq!"
"I know how you must feel."
Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
Those words are all already making it to the top of my pet peeves list. On up there with smacking your food and the awful, snobby accent some people have.
That is all =)
Now that I have wrangled up my emotions...
Cam and I have started the preparation stage. Not a whole lot of preparing so far, though. Mainly just looking at apartments online and trying to emotionally prepare for deployment 2013. BUT, we found my body guard:
Not much of anything but a great companion as of right now. But, this little boy won't remain little for long! He's a German Shepherd/Chocolate Lab mix, and utterly adorable if I do say so myself! We plan on training him to be a nice, loving friend unless he needs to be a protector. I realize buying a dog isn't usually the first step of action for most, but, if you haven't heard, Cameron and I recently were awoken my a stranger in our bedroom. Which, as you can imagine, gave us the heebee-jeebies. But, the thought of me being alone in that situation pushed the issue a little further. So, meet Jack everyone! Cam and I have already fallen in love with him. He's a great dog!
Last week, I mentioned moving closer to my parents. That's not going to work out anymore. By all means, I'm NOT moving farther from them. But, I need to stay close to my job so I can commute easily back and forth. I don't live even a half hour away from my Arkansas family right now anyway, so it's not too bad! Something that played a role in staying somewhat close to where I am now is something a co-worker of mine told me. "Leave and cleave." That process was already difficult for me whenever I became Mrs. Molden; I can not imagine having to do it AGAIN. I'm such a family oriented woman that I would be tempted to go back to fully relying on my parents. So, to avoid that temptation, I'm going to have my "own" place. (Not really, just because Cam won't live with me for a few months doesn't mean it isn't OUR place!) Now, I'm not saying I'm not going to lean on my parents or take comfort in them, but I am still one with Cameron. If I lived with/very close to my parents, I know I would find it difficult to remain in my role as a wife. YES, I still have roles as a wife even when my husband is out of the country. Don't seem so shocked! ;)
Okay, reality check. I'm trying so hard to look like I know what I am doing. But, I don't. At all. And, I know what you jokesters are thinking: "Well, that's not hard to believe." Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. BUT! I am going to know what I'm doing sooner or later. My father-in-law found what seems to be a pretty dang helpful book that I plan on obtaining in the near future. It's called "National Guard 101: A Handbook for Spouses." Just by reading part of the description it has helped me.
"I didn't understand anything! I had never been in an armory before. I didn't know the difference between an officer and an enlisted soldier. I didn't even know how to address the commander or his wife!" Corbett decided to "wing it," rationalizing that since her husband was "just" in the reserves she wasn't a "real" military wife. After all, military spouses lived on bases, operated within a strict structure of rank, and dealt with long deployments. Thank goodness she didn't have to worry about those things!"
Uhm. HELLO! That was exactly my train of thought until Cameron told me last week about what is happening in the upcoming year. I'm in a civilian-military lifestyle. And, that is so confusing even for me. I'll keep y'all updated on what I learn through that book as the times roll on!
Well, I have spent enough time writing. I'm at work and supposed to be contacting some guests and entering in some evaluations from our awesome marriage conference. HEY! Speaking of, while I'm on the subject, if you are married or engaged and want to take your relationship with your significant other to the next level, you should check out our marriage conference!! If you have any questions, you can message me on facebook and I can answer or help you with it! Here is the site with most of the information about it:
WEEKEND TO REMEMBER!
Okay. Now that I am done marketing for the ministry...
Thanks for taking time to read this, and may God bless you!
I'm starting to blog because I'm starting a new journey. Just read and find out ;)
Wednesday, February 8, 2012, I went on a date with my husband. (Chinese food and a chick-flick.. because he knows they're my favorite!) He was off that day, and decided to put some hours in at Camp Robinson's airfield, and randomly in the day said, "Don't eat too much for lunch, we are going out tonight." It was weird, because usually we plan dates way ahead of time or at a last minute's notice. But, nonetheless, I was excited. When we got home from our nice little date, we got ready for bed and started having our nightly "pillow talk." He had a very uneasy tone in his voice, and I was scared to ask why. He finally spilled the beans on his own. The words I've been dreading for about a year now... "I'm going to be deployed."
Most wives in this world will never have to hear those words or even have to think about hearing that phrase. Most wives won't ever have to say "he's only been gone two months." Most wives won't even ever have to worry about living alone. But, we military wives live daily wondering if those dreaded words will leave our beloved's mouth changing our lives for multiple years.
I didn't know how to react when Cameron told me. I've never liked people seeing me cry. I feel so weak and helpless when I do. But, I did tear up... and when Cam was snoozing, I started the sobs. The next day, my father-in-law shared some words of wisdom: "You're not expected to react/feel any certain way. A lot of people will try to make you feel better by reminding you 'God is sovereign and in control' but you are allowed to grieve and be sad. After all, it is an unwanted separation from who God has chosen for you. I am confident that you will be supportive when it is time to be. And, there will be many who will be your support as well. But, right now you have to process and wrap your head around the whole thing. There is a huge difference between possibility and reality." It's true. Nobody can expect me to feel a certain way about this new chapter on my life. If I'm hurting, or angry, or down in the dumps, or even having a great day and I'm happy... Nobody can expect me to be any different.
My husband, SPC Molden, has orders of deploying in 2013 (As of right now. You never know what the army might change next.). This will be our first deployment, and I honestly have no idea what's going to happen along this winding road. What I do know is that we will make it, we both have the loving support of our friends and family, and that it's going to be hard. Hard on our emotions, hard on our marriage, and hard work.
Even though it's a whole year away, we have to start preparing. He's so good to me, and always gets every bill paid by the beginning of each month. He makes the grocery lists. He manages our finances. And, he just tells me what I need to do. This next year, I have to learn everything he does. We have to decide where is best for me to live while he is away. We have to decide how I can keep safe while living alone. We have to prepare our hearts, minds, and emotions for deployment 2013.
I was told by a fellow army wife that blogging is one of the best ways she copes with deployment. So here I am. Blogging my heart out. Facebook and twitter is not going to be an emotional wreck page for me. If I have an emotional break down, you won't know unless you first read about why... right here on this blog.
So, if you want to have a look on everything about the army life, you'll find it here!
Thanks for reading!!
